This Sunday, we are celebrating all the married couples in our parish, so I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the three goods of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. St. John Paul II describes these goods in his apostolic exhortation Familiaris Consortio.
“Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter- appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, the unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility (cf Humanae vitae, 9). In a word it is a question of the normal characteristics of all natural conjugal love, but with a new significance which not only purifies and strengthens them, but raises them to the extent of making them the expression of specifically Christian values.”
His Holiness begins with the goal of marriage: “a deeply personal unity, that goes beyond union in one flesh.” Marriage is not merely physical; rather, its aim is to form a union of the heart, mind, and soul of two people. This does not mean that the two persons lose or forget who they are and become a new person who cannot act unless their spouse is in the same room. Rather, the unity that forms helps the spouses become more fully who they have always been called to be. This unity helps each person become more fully alive and free, allowing them to draw on the grace God bestows through their marriage bond. For this deep spiritual union to exist, the goods of marriage, which also serve as requirements of the sacrament, must be lived out:
1.Indissolubility: Marriage cannot be dissolved. Once the spouses exchange their consent to one another in the presence of God (before a member of the clergy and two witnesses), there is no end to the marriage. Only death dissolves a marriage.
2.Faithfulness, or fidelity: Just as Jesus Christ was completely and totally faithful to His Father and to the Church, so too should spouses be totally faithful to God and to one another. Because Jesus lives His covenantal union with His Bride in this way, those who have entered into marriage are called to the same lofty goal.
3.Openness to life: Spouses must always remain open to life. This is non-negotiable, because true love and faithfulness always bear fruit, whether physical fruit in children or spiritual fruit. Spouses must remain open to that fruit in the conjugal act. To close oneself off to being fruitful in any way denies one’s spouse an integral part of oneself: one’s paternity or maternity. Even NFP can be used with a contraceptive mindset. If that is the case, the deep spiritual union between the spouses cannot continue to develop, because one or both of them is withholding something incredibly important from the other.
All three must be lived out for this deep union to grow.
May God bless you in your vocation of marriage, and may we all give thanks to God for the incredible blessings He bestows on our parish because of your willingness to say yes to His will.