Entry Two: New Beginnings
It has been almost three months here in Flushing, and I can already say these have been the best months of my life. Why? Because I finally get to live the life God intended for me—as His priest. After thirty-three years, I am living in a brand-new way, relying on God in everything I do.
When I first arrived at St. Robert, I felt such relief—like I could finally live as a father in the way God had planned. At the same time, I was nervous. I had never done anything like this before. For the past six years, I lived in a gated community in the heart of Detroit with my nose in a book for eight hours a day. I honestly didn’t know if I would be any good as a priest. Would I succeed? Or would it be a struggle for the first couple of years, full of trial and error? I still don’t know if I’m a “good priest,” but I do know I’m trying. I’m learning a great deal from Fr. Brian, and I am discovering that being a priest is absolutely amazing. God provides where we lack.
“Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:10). I have a new appreciation for this verse from St. Paul. Time and again, I walk away from situations saying, “I didn’t know I could do that.” It’s incredible to see how God works when we give the Holy Spirit permission. There have been moments when I’ve gone in afraid—because I’ve never done something like it before, or because I don’t like being the center of attention. I’d much rather be hidden in the corner where no one notices me. But God works in our weaknesses. He never abandons us when He asks us to do something.
God has asked me to be His priest, to serve Him and His people, so I can take great confidence in knowing He will show up when I trust Him. It is precisely in my weaknesses that God shines the brightest. I was never naturally gifted at some things a priest must do, but when I lean on the Lord, His love shines through. Yes, it can still feel scary leading up to a moment, but when it comes, I have never felt more alive. Those moments reveal God’s merciful love, His presence among us, and the truth that with Him all things are possible.
We have such an intimate and loving God who desires to work through each of us here at this parish. The question is: will we give Him permission? It can feel frightening—I know the feeling—but God will never abandon us. If He asks you, as He asked St. Peter, to go out into the deep, what will your response be? Are we allowing God the chance to work in us, or do we stay in the safety of our own strengths, where there is no risk?
Our patron, St. Robert, had no desire to be a bishop or a cardinal. He longed for a quiet life of study, prayer, and teaching. Yet when he surrendered to God’s will, he became one of the greatest theologians and leaders of our Church. God works through our weaknesses, and it is in those very moments that He can make the greatest difference in people’s lives—because then, we are no longer in the way 🙂