Entry Four: Do I Persevere?

It is amazing how this liturgical year is coming to a close, with Advent marking the beginning of a new one. This year has been filled with so many blessings from the Lord. I graduated, I was ordained a priest, I was positioned at an incredible parish, and the Lord continues to bless me through all of your faithful witnesses of living out the faith.

As I write this, I am reminded of all the beautiful things the Lord has done in my life—especially during a Jubilee Year for our Church. But I can’t help but wonder: do I do this enough? Do I remind myself often enough of all that the Lord has done for me? Am I grateful enough?

It is so easy to be distracted by the activities of daily life and lose sight of God and His works, especially when times become difficult. When things are not going the way I want them to, when there is tragedy in our parish families or community, or when I am experiencing some kind of suffering, it becomes much more difficult to see God working during those times. I become so fixated on the tragedies and sufferings that I lose sight of God and what He has done for me.

During this last month, I have certainly struggled with this. I have been sick a couple of times, I have celebrated more funerals than I thought I would, and I’ve doubted whether what I’m doing is actually making a difference. At times, I have felt defeated. I’ve had the thought, “Christian, you are just starting out—how can you keep this up for the rest of your life?” It’s an honest thought, but one that comes from my own ignorance. I forget at times that it is not me doing this work of a priest; God Himself is the one who does the work. I am not alone in this ministry or in my life. Despite what the world tells me, God is always with me. He is the one who gives me the strength to enter a hospital room full of family members watching helplessly as one of their loved ones passes. God is always with me—but I forget, because the difficulty of the situation makes it seem as though I am all there is and that God is absent.

Our Lord presents us with signs that will occur before His glorious second coming in the Gospel today: “Wars and insurrections… Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; there will be earthquakes, famines, and plagues; awesome sights and mighty signs will come from the sky.” These signs, our Lord says, will occur. However, before all these things happen, He also tells us: “They will seize and persecute you, they will hand you over to synagogues and prisons, and they will have you led before kings and governors because of my name.”

We will be handed over because of Jesus’ name. This is not a very cheerful message, but a warning and an alert—a message we must all heed, especially me. It reminds us that a life that chooses to follow Jesus does not mean all problems will disappear or that our lives will be perfect. Rather, there will be suffering and pain. But do we persevere in it? Do we trust that our Lord is with us in the midst of it, suffering with us? Do we turn to Him and let Him know that what we are going through hurts and is hard? Do we listen to His response when He says, “I know it hurts. I am right here with you.”

Jesus says, “By your perseverance you will secure your lives.” I know this is something I must always work on—persevering in the midst of suffering and turning to Him, the King of Kings, who endured infinitely more suffering than I ever could by bearing the weight of all sin in His death. We have a God who has not abandoned us, but one who knows exactly what we are going through.

May I learn to turn to Him more in my times of suffering and pain.